Tell me again why you called??

As you may have read, I’ve moved to TN. In the work to get this off the ground here, I met Anita from Doe Valley Pruning (my snazzy embroidered shirts!) and she was kind enough to invite me to a networking meeting. One gentleman said he had a referral for me (a relative who was at wits-end to get their two young lab mixes under control) and would have them call me when they were ready.

This was well over a month ago. This past week the gal finally called me for an appointment.

First let me say that nobody calls me and says, “I have two perfectly behaved dogs that we just are sooooo happy with. Just wanted you to know.”  No… my phone rings when people are up to “here” with bad dog behavior. One assumes the owner has finally gotten up to “here”. You might be wrong.

So, tell me again why you called?

So, today I arrived at the appointed time, greeted by one mostly well-behaved dog “Skippy”  (Names have been changed to protect the guilty). Skippy didn’t jump, just INTENSE sniffing and one dog being held at arms length by the owner. Owner let go and “Goober” starts jumping and pawing and mouthing/nipping at my hands. Seeing this wonderful behavior, Skippy thinks its a good idea and begins to jump too. Owners try several (failing badly) strategies to keep the dogs from jumping, etc. Didn’t work. Skippy jumps with front paws on counter. Owner,” Sign, we’ve been trying to stop that for months, too.” (hmmmm…)

As I give the dogs no energy or real contact, they finally lose interest. He owner, she owner and I start to talk.

Me: So is this the behaviors I’m here for (jumping, nipping)?

Her: yes, that and not heeling on a walk.

They have two kennels for the dogs. I ask if they go in their kennels eaisily

Her: Yes//Him: No  (hmmmm)  Her: Well, I give them a treat to go in.

Me: Why a treat?

Her: so they’ll listen.  Him: (rolls eyes)

On hearing about treats I ask about their diets.

Her: well we’re vegans and all the dog food on the market is crap (points at dog food they are using), so we give them table scraps too.

Me: did you know giving a dog human food can shorten their lives 3-5 years?

Her: I’ve read that, but it isn’t true and besides we’re health nuts, so they only get healthy food.

At this point I can see where this is heading. She thinks a human vegan diet is great for a canine.

So I start asking about how they discipline.

Her: well, I’m not hitting my dog.   (Me: Looking to find the voice that said someone had asked her to hit the dog)

Her: My father comes over here. He’s really stern with the dogs (no he doesn’t hit them either). They listen to him. When we go outside they follow HIM. (This last said with distaste as the dogs follow the “mean” guy)( not the owners with no rules, boundaries, or limitations.)

Anything I mention about structure, expecting the dog to behave with NO treats is met with a look of disdain, bordering on hate. He and she are sitting on their couch now, but don’t offer me a seat. Part of the reason is the only seat left is the “Dog Couch”. I know if I sit on my own, I’ll have two labs on my lap and have to deal with it.

I ask about keeping the dogs off that couch. YIKES daggers of death!!! I asked what happens if her 90 year old grandma comes over and a 40# dog jumps in her lap? Or the dogs both jump on her at the door like they did me, she falls and breaks her hip??

Silence…… then finally, Her: I hadn’t thought of that.   (huh, really? How self-absorbed are you??)(No, I didn’t ask that).

Her: But I WANT the dogs on the couch.

Me: Is there anything wrong with you “owning” the couch and they could get up if invited?

Her: I want them to have their own couch. (Note they each have a nice kennel with blankets and pillows and all kinds of carpet to lay on. I just don’t like all this “Dominance” stuff you’re talking about. You’re like my dad. I don’t want to dominate my dogs. I want to be able to spoil them. They’re my kids for now.

At some point in an evaluation, when I can see people are struggling with the discipline issue, I’ll ask if they have a spare bedroom (especially if I know/think they do…). After an unusual look I’ll say, “Tell ya what, I’m gonna move in this weekend. I expect to get room and board. I may tear some stuff up now and then. I usually will make myself a pesk when ANYONE comes over to visit and embarrass you. Oh yeah, You’ll have to make sure I get fed on time, you take me out to pee in the yard and cover all my medical. What do you say? Heck, I’ll even play ball with you!!!”

I ALWAYS get a “Probably not”. My point? EXACTLY. The dogs gig here is pretty good. And all you REALLY want is for them to behave?? Not surprisingly, I got silence from them on that.

Me (at the limit of patience now): Sp do I hear you saying that your dad fully expects the dogs to behave and they do. You don’t expect them to, in fact you just told me you expect to spoil them and they don’t listen to you? I’m not sure why you called me. Did you know that these (all) dogs are 98% gray wolf and expect to have a pack leader?

Her: I read that and that’s not true. They’ve had thousands of years to adjust without a pack leader. They don’t need that.

Me: I’m sorry. I can tell that we’re too far apart. I can see even if you hired me, we would butt heads. I choose at this point to part as close to friends as we can get. — I shake both their hands and leave.

Total elapsed time? 14 minutes. One of the shortest evaluations I’ve ever been on.

So tell me again, if all of your fantastic research is working so well and you have it so “under control”… WHY did you call me??

Sigh.

So, if I CAN help you, and you’re willing to accept training from an expert, please stop by the Perfectly Pawsible Dog Obedience web site!!

-Grant

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: